• It is that time of the year again, when you are thankful for everything merry and bright. May this Christmas be a delight! Wishing you a Merry Christmas!
• May Christ bless you with all the happiness and success you deserve! Merry Xmas!
• I am dreaming of white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write, May your days be merry and bright, and May all your Christmases be white. Merry Christmas.
• May your world be filled with warmth and good cheer this Holy season, and throughout the year! Wish your Christmas be filled with peace and love. Merry Xmas.
• May the good times and treasures of the present become the golden memories of tomorrow. Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
• Chritmas ka yeh pyara tyohaar jeevan mein laye khushiyan apaar, santa clause aaye aapke dwar, subhkamna hamari kare sweekar. Merry Christmas.

• May this Christmas be bright and cheerful and may the New Year begin on a prosperous note!
• Love, Peace and Joy came down on earth on Christmas day to make you happy and cheerful. May Christmas spread cheer in your lives!
• Sending the warmest Christmas wishes to you and your family. May God shower his choicest blessings on you and your family this Christmas!
• May all your days be merry and bright and may your Christmas be white! Merry Christmas!

• Wish you a Merry Christmas and may this festival bring abundant joy and happiness in your life!

• May this Christmas be so special that you never ever feel lonely again and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!

• You are special, you are unique; may your Christmas be also as special and unique as you are! Merry Christmas!

• Here’s wishing you all the joys of the season. Wish you and your family a Merry Christmas!

• May joy and happiness snow on you, may the bells jingle for you and may Santa be extra good to you! Merry Christmas!

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink and sits down.

A couple of minutes later, the bartender sees the guy talking to his hand.

Not wanting any of his other customers to beat this guy up, the bartender walks over and tells the guy to stop talking to his hand.

“But I got a cell phone implanted in my hand, bartender!” Sure enough, the guy has a phone implanted in his hand.

“Well, put it away before you get beaten up,” says the bartender.

This guy finishes his drink and goes to the washroom. When he doesn’t come out, the bartender gets worried and goes looking for this guy.

He finds him in the washroom with a toilet paper roll shoved up his ass.

“I told you,” says the bartender.

“Oh, I’m fine,” says the guy, “just waiting for a fax!”

A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian walk into a bar. The Russian asks the bartender for vodka, so he gives him an entire bottle. The Russian pours out a shot, drinks it, and throws the rest of the bottle into the air and shoots it. The bartender asks, “What did you do that for?” and the Russian replies, “In my country, we have too much vodka.”
The bartender shakes his head and turns to the Frenchman, who orders wine. The Frenchman pours a glass, drinks it, then throws the rest of the bottle in the air and shoots it to smithereens. “In my country,” he says, “we have too much wine.”
The bartender shakes his head again, and turns hesitantly to the Canadian to ask him what he would like.
The Canadian orders a beer, drinks the whole bottle in one go, then pulls out his gun and shoots the Frenchman. “In my country,” he says, “we have too many Frenchmen.”

There’s a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board. The headquarters in the US calls:”Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to coms for instructions. “He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors. So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releasesthe oxygen. A few moments later headquarters calls again: “Monkey #2, Monkey #2report to coms for instructions. ” He sits down and he is told to addCarbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyse the solar radiation. So the monkey does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation. A little later on, headquarters calls again: “Woman, woman please report to coms for instructions. ” She sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says. . . . . “I know, I know!! Feedthe monkeys, and don’t touch a damn thing. “

One day they both died,so she took them to the taxodermist. “So you want them mounted? ” asked the taxidermist. To which she replied: “No. Holding hands will do just fine. ”