Engineers had made our life very comfortable by using science and technology.
But have u ever imagined what would the world look like without engineers, If not then here r
some of the pics what would our life be like :-

Air travelling

Communication

Computing and education

Television

Transportation

• If you refer to your spouse as “\woman at home.wife,”
• If your favorite TV show is “Mr. Wizard” instead of “Baywatch,”
• If when your family is expecting, you are more interested in the ultra-sound equipment than the test results,
• If when someone asks “What’s new?” you answer “C over lambda,”
• If you know Bill Gates’ e-mail address, and don’t remember your own,
• If you are always asking your friends from marketing to hold two leads to a giant capacitor,
• If you find your head nodding up and down every time you read Dilbert,
• If your pocket is full of too many mechanical pencils,
• If when your 3-year old asks “Why is the sky blue?” you start explaining it to them,
• If you can explain which direction the water spins as you flush the toilet and why,
• If you go to the air show, and you start calculating how fast the sky divers are falling, you may be an engineer; if you start telling all the people around you, you definitely are.
• If you need a spreadsheet to figure out who owes what for lunch,
• If you plan your family vacation on a Gantt chart,
• If you pre-plan your route on a map of the exhibits through the annual computer show at Moscone Center,
• If you read PC World and Popular Mechanics while on vacation,
• If you are willing to debate for two hours the possible results of an experiment that takes five minutes to run,
• If you know the altitudes at which you must turn off electronic devices on an airplane, and why,
• If on a camping trip, your spouse starts complaining about bug “bites” and you respond that “Yes, we do need more memory in our computer,”
• If Dilbert is your hero
• If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
• If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
• If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
• If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
• If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX2-50
• If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
• If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids’ toys
• If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife”
• If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
• If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
• If you use a CAD package to design your son’s Pine Wood Derby car
• If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
• If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
• If you window shop at Radio Shack
• If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest Sci-Fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
• If you have “Dilbert” comics displayed anywhere in your work area
• If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
• If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera’s flash attachment
• If you don’t even know where the cover to your personal computer is
• If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
• If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
• If you own “Official Star Trek” anything
• If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what’s inside
• If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
• If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
• If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
• If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
• If you have never backed-up your hard drive
• If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
• If you truly believe aliens are living among us
• If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
• If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance “as-is”
• If you see a good design and still have to change it
• If the salespeople at Circuit City can’t answer any of your questions
• If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
• If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
• If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don’t remember where they are
• If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
• If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
• If you have more toys than your kids
• If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
• If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
• If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
• If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
• If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work and you rush up to the front to fix it
• If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
• If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery Channel and have seen most of the shows already
• If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
• If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family’s first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
• If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use
• If you can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own handwriting
• If people groan at the party when you pick out the music=7F
• If you can’t remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
• If you did the sound system for your senior prom
• If your checkbook always balances
• If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
• If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
• If you thought the real heroes of “Apollo 13″ were the Mission Controllers
• If you think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep
• If you spend more on your home computer than your car
• If you know what http:/ stands for
• If you’ve ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
• If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
• If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
• If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
• If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We are still pissing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We know who to blame.
4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED – We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING – We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED – The only person who understood the thing quit.
9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT – Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL – Let’s spread the responsibility for the screw up.
12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we’ve already done.
13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION – I can’t wait to hear this bull!
14. SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS – Come into my office, I’m lonely.
15. ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. RUGGED – Too damn heavy to lift!
17. LIGHTWEIGHT – Lighter than RUGGED.
18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – One finally worked.
19. ENERGY SAVING – Achieved when the power switch is off.
20. LOW MAINTENANCE – Impossible to fix if broken.

· Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
· Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
· Real Engineers wear mustaches or beards for “efficiency”. Not because they’re lazy.
· Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
· Real Engineers think a “biting wit” is their fox terrier.
· Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics – but not their own shirt size.
· Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
· Real Engineers say “It’s 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin” and all you say is “Isn’t it a nice day”
· Real Engineers give you the feeling you’re having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
· Real Engineers wear badges so they don’t forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying “Don’t offer me a ride today. I drove my own car”.
· Real Engineers’ politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
· Real Engineers know the “ABC’s of Infrared” from A to B.
· Real Engineers rotate their tires for laughs.
· Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.
· Real Engineers’ briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of “Quantum Physics”, and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
· Real Engineers don’t find the above at all funny.

Diwali is a main festival of Hindus, and celebrated 21 days after Dusshera. Diwali party and parites are arranged by the hindu youths where they do diwali dance, exchange diwali gifts, and diwali greeting cards.Here we are provided some Deepawali special shayari and jokes. Diwali is the festival when everyone get together to celebrate this festival of light.

1. Aapko Diwali Mubarak Ho,
Aapki Diwali Mangalmaye Ho..
Kintu Parantu ..I know its 2 early
Bt I have thousands of beauties, hotties and smarties to wish…
So I thougnt to finish AunTies & UncLes 1st

2. Amitabh -
mere paas rocket hai,
shurli hai,
chakri hai,
murga bumb hai,
anaar hai,
tumhare paas kya hai?
Shashi kapoor -
mere paas
maachis hai!:p

3. Apun wishing u a wonderful,
super-duper,
zabardast,
xtra-badhiya,
xtra special
ekdum mast n dhinchak,
bole to ekdum Jhakaas
“HAPPY DiWALi”

4. Mai Apna Mann Sirf
Puja
Archana
Aarti
Shradha
Bhawana Me H Lagana
Chahta Hu
Apke Pados Me Koi
Rehti Ho To Batao

5. This Diwali I M Sending You CASH:
C-Care
A-Affection
S-Smiles
H-Hugs
* HAPPY DIWALI *

6. Krishna Ki Ukti Hanuman Ki Shakti
Meerabai Ki Bhakti Ramchandra Ka Gyan
Karan Ka Daan Einstein Ki Buddhi
Nobel Prize Ki Siddhi Gandhi Ki Ahimsa
India Ki Parampara Vajpayee Ki Maryada
Nizaam Ki Sampada Michael Jordan Ki Salary
Abdul Kalam Ki Vocabulary Bhagat Singh Ka Deshprem
Sweetheart Ka Amarprem Microsoft Ke Share
Rupiyo Ke Dher Tata Ke Senses
Ambani Ke Licenses Birla Ka Bangla
Daler Ka Bhangra Amitabh Ki Style
Madhuri Ki Smile Shahrukh Ki Personality
Aishwarya Ki Popularity Worldtour Ka Ticket
Tendulkar Ka Wicket Administrator Ke Passwords
Jokes Ke Forwards Mercedez Ki Car
Diamond Ka Haar Dher Saraa Pyar
In this new year…
Wish you a Happy Diwali !!!!

7. Safalta Kadam Chumti rahe,
Khushi Aaspas ghumti rahe,
Yash Itna faile ki KASTURI Sharma Jaye,
Laxmi ki kripa itni ho ki BALAJI bhi dekhte rah jaye,

8. Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
sitaro ne gagan se salam bheja hai,
Mubarak ho apko ye “DIWALI 2007”
Humne tahe dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.

9. Aapke life mein mithaas ho “Cadbury” jaise
Rounak ho “Asian Paints” jaise
Mehak ho “Axe” jaise
Tazgi ho “Colgate” jaise
Aur tension-free rahe
“Huggies” jaise!
“Happy Diwali”

10. This SMS will EXPLODE in 5 seconds….
:05
:04
:03
:02
:01
(((((BOOM)))))
“*”*”*”*”*”*”
*”*”HAPPY”*”*
“*”DIPAWALI”*”
….*”*”*….

11. May the joy, cheer,
Mirth and merriment
Of this divine festival
Surround you forever.
May the happiness,
That this season brings
Brighten your life
And, hope the year
Brings you luck and
Fulfills all your dearest dreams!
Happy deepavali…..

12. Ajse aapke yahan dhan ki barsat ho,
Maa laxmi ka vass ho,
Sankaton ka nash ho,
Har dil pe apka raj ho,
Unnati ka sar pe taj ho,
Wish you a very Happy Diwali!

13. May the beauty
Of deepavali season
Fill your home with
Happiness,
And may the coming year
Provide you with all
That bring you joy!
*Happy Diwali*

14. Aayi hai diwali dekho
Sang layi khushiya dekho..
Yehan wahan jahan dekho
Aaj deep jagmagate dekho

15. May the divine light of diwali spread into your
Life peace, prosperity, happiness and good health.

16. Andhera hua dur raat ke saath
Nayi subha aayi diwali leke sath
Ab ankhne kholo dekho ek msg aayi hai
Diwali ki subh kamna sath layi hai.
” Happy Diwali”

17. Jhilmilate dipon ki aabha se prakashit
Ye diwali aapke ghar aangan mein
Dhan dhanya sukh samridhi aur ishwor
Ke annat aashirwad le kar aaye.
Happy Diwali.

18. Diwali parva hai khushiyon ka,
Ujalo ka, laxmi ka…Iss diwali aapka
zindagi khushiyon se bhari ho,
Duniya ujalo se roshan ho,
Ghar par maa laxmi ka aagman ho.
Happy Diwali.

16. “,”‘,’”,this “,”,”,”””,,
is god’s rain”,,,”
of
“,’,’blessings”‘’”,
may it wash away
all ur troubles &
keep u happy…..
“happy diwali &
a prosperous year”

17. Laxmi aayegi itni ki sab jagah naam hoga,
Din raat vyapar bade itna adhik kaam hoga,
Ghar pariwar samaj me banoge sartaj,
Yehi kamna hai hamari aap ke liye
Diwali ki dhero shubh kamanaye

18. For this, is a special time when family
And friends get together,for fun.
Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days,
In this festive season of diwali and always!!!!!!!!
“Happy Deepavali”

19. DeEp Jalte jagmagate rahin,
Hum aapko Aap hame yaad aate rahin,
Jab tak zindagi hai, dua hai hamari
‘Aap Chand ki tarah Zagmagate rahin…’
Happy Diwali

20. Apako ashirwad milai Ganesh se.
Vidya mile Saraswati se.
Daulat mile Laxmi se.
Khushiya mile Rab se.
Pyaar mile Sab se.
Yahi duwa hai is dil se.
Happy Diwali

21. main aasha karta hun
Ki iss diwali ke sunder mauke pe,
Diwali ki aloakik Prakaash se,
Tumhare dimaag main kuch ujala ho..
Aur tum insaano jaisi vyavhaar karna shuru kardo..

Diwali party and parites are arranged by the hindu youths where they do diwali dance, exchange diwali gifts, and diwali greeting cards. With the modern trend some youngster have replaced diwali cards with diwali sms greetings / diwali SMS, Happy Diwali SMS, Hindi Diwali SMS , Diwali messages, Diwali wishes sms messages, Diwali greetings sms messages and diwali sms wishes. Happy Diwali.

Diwali aai, masti chahi, rangi rangoli,
Diwali aai, masti chahi, rangi rangoli,
deep jalaye, Dhoom Dhadaka, chhoda phataka, jali Phuljadiyan,
Sabko Bhaye, “Happy Diwali” By khushbu

With my
1 heart
2 eyes
7 liter blood
206 bones
4.5 million red cells
60 trillion D N A”S…
All wishing you a very very
HAPPY DIWALI!

Diwali Parva hai Khushio ka,
Diwali Parva hai Khushio ka,
Ujalo ka, Laxmi ka…. Is Diwali Aapki Jindagi khushio se bhari ho,
Duniya ujalo se roshan ho, ghar par Maa Laxmi ka Aagman ho…
Happy Diwali By Paro

For this, is a special time when family
And friends get together,for fun.
Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days,
In this festive season of diwali and always!!!!!!!!
Happy Deepavali

Laxmi aayegi itni ki sab jagah Naam hoga,
Laxmi aayegi itni ki sab jagah Naam hoga,
Din raat vyapar bade itna adhik kaam hoga,
Ghar Pariwar samaj me banoge Sartaj, Yehi Kamna hai hamari aap ke liye
Diwali ki Dhero Shubh Kamanaye…By khushbu

May the beauty
Of deepavali season
Fill your home with
Happiness,
And may the coming year
Provide you with all
That bring you joy!

Aai aai Diwali aai, Saath me kitni Khushiya laayi,
Aai aai Diwali aai, Saath me kitni Khushiya laayi,
Dhoom machao, mauz manao, aap sabhi ko Diwali ki badhai.
Happy Diwali By Mukerji

May the joy, cheer,
Mirth and merriment
Of this divine festival
Surround you forever.
May the happiness,
That this season brings
Brighten your life
And, hope the year
Brings you luck and
Fulfills all your dearest dreams!
Happy deepawali

Deep Jalte jagmagate rahe, H
Deep Jalte jagmagate rahe, Hum aapko Aap hame yaad aate rahe,
Jab tak zindagi hai, dua hai hamari ‘Aap Chand ki tarah Zagmagate rahe…’ Happy DiwaliBy Shalu

Khushi har raat chand banke aaye,
Din ka ujala shan banke aaye,
Kabhi dur na ho aapke chehre se hasi,
Ye DEV DIWALI aaisi mehman banke aaye..

HAPPY DEV DIWALI…

Troubles as light as Air,
Troubles as light as Air,
love as deep as Ocean,
Friends as Solid as Diamonds,
and Success as bright as Gold…
These are the wishes for you and your family on the eve of Diwali and EID. Eid ki Mubarakbadi aur Diwali ki Shubhkamana!By Paro

May the Divine Light of this Diwali
Spread into You
Peace, Prosperiety, Happiness and Good Health

**HAPPY DIWALI**