Latest / New Birthday Greetings Collection

What did one candle say to the other?
“Don’t birthdays burn you up?”

A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.
He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?”
She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” He says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!

I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!

Sam’s girlfriend’s birthday was the same day as his father’s. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying, ‘Use this all over yourself and think of me.’ Unfortunately he put the note on his father’s present.

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,’I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.’Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesn’t get her anything.She says, ‘Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?’He replies, ‘You didn’t use what I got you last year!’

‘I’m giving a ’surprised’ birthday party for you.’ ‘A ’surprised’. birthday party? What’s that?’ ‘That’s where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I’ll be surprised!

Q. What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

A. They were all born on holidays.

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.