FUNNY JOKE & SMS» Blind Jokes

Blind in one eye

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:01:20 +0000

I got one cousin, he’s blind in one eye ’cause he tried to kill himself with a slingshot. I don’t even know how you go about that, you know? He shot the thing off; it completely missed his head. His dad came in, saw what he was doing, thought he was so stupid — poked his eye out.

Blind in one eye is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

A Blind Bunny & A Blind Snake

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:42:53 +0000

A blind bunny and a blind snake bump into each other on the path.

“What kind of animal are you?” asks the snake.

“I really don’t know,” says the bunny. “I’ve never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out?”

So, the snake felt the bunny. “Well, you’re soft and cuddly,” said the snake. “You have long silky ears and a little fluffy tail. You must be a bunny!”

“Awesome!” says the bunny. “Now what kind of animal are you?”

“I really don’t know,” says the snake. “I’ve never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out?”

So, the bunny feels the snake all over, and he replies, “You’re hard and cold, and you haven’t got any balls. You must be a lawyer!”

A Blind Bunny & A Blind Snake is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

Blind guy walks into a bar

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:29:00 +0000

Blind guy makes his way to the bar and asks the barmaid “wanna hear a blonde joke”?. The barmaid cocks her shotgun and says : “I’m a blonde and I have a gun, the 2 girls on your right are blondes and they are tag team wrestlers, the girl on your left is a blonde tattooed head to foot and rides a harley and the girl behind you now is my bouncer, a blackbelt and is also a blonde. Sure you still want to tell that joke?”. The blind guy says….”not if I have to repeat it 5 times.”

Blind guy walks into a bar is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a Bar

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:25:36 +0000

. His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”

His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the plummer the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”

Paddy says: “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. “No I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a Bar is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

Love is Blind

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:07:36 +0000

Love is blind
Be very kind
When I kiss you
Please don’t mind

Love is Blind is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

A Blind Rabbit and a Blind Snake

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:04:29 +0000

A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each
other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit
and
said, “You’re soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be
a
rabbit.”
The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and
said, “You’re slimy,
beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a
math teacher.”

A Blind Rabbit and a Blind Snake is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

No Dogs Allowed

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:36:47 +0000

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.

The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!”

The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.”

“Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.”

The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says “You can’t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it’s a seeing-eye dog.”

The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink.

The bartender says “Hey, you can’t bring that dog in here!”

The second man replies “This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bartender says, “No, I don’t think so.

They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs.”

The man pauses for a half-second and replies “What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?”

No Dogs Allowed is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

The Blind Texan

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:30:25 +0000

here once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!”

The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.”

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!”

The bartender replied, “Everything is big in Texas.”

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.

The bartender replied, “Second door to the right.”

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

The Blind Texan is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

Browsing

faraz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:19:20 +0000

A blind man walks into a store with his Seeing Eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, “Just looking around.” Browsing is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS Related [...]

Browsing is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS

There are no dogs allowed here.

faraz — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 22:58:11 +0000

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.” The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says “You can’t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it’s a seeing-eye dog.” The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says “Hey, you can’t bring that dog in here!”

The second man replies “This is my seeing-eye dog.” The bartender says, “No, I don’t think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs.” The man pauses for a half-second and replies “What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?”

There are no dogs allowed here. is a post from: FUNNY JOKE & SMS