Latest / New Computer Jokes Collection

These are the definations of women as described by a computer expert

HARD-DISK woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

INTERNET woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER woman:
Always busy when you need her.

CD-ROM woman:
She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:
Also called “wife”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t you will lose everything!!

Customer:Hey Shopkeeper i want some curtains for my computer
Shopkeeper:Why do u need curtains for your computer ????
Customer:Oh you don’t know my computer has windows

The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to “getting into” E-mail and how to access the “Information Highway.”

An obviously distraught student came into the consulting office yesterday complaining that his E-mail wasn’t working. His attempts to get tickets for an on-campus concert kept resulting in returned mail.

He showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach. I asked him where he obtained such an unusual mail address.

He replied, “The sign advertising the concert said, ‘begins@7:30PM’.”

Redmond, WA –Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system “Windows 2000″ will be delayed until the second quarter of 1901.

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? “You’re still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!”

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
There’s whiteout on the screen.

First man: “You know, I hear Microsoft is going to start making Condoms.”

Second man: “That gives a whole new meaning to the words, ‘General Protection Fault.’”

The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers. However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being… a little strange.

While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another: “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and asked why it was so long.

“Because,” my son explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”

what does the little computer call it’s dad?
Data