Latest / New Family Jokes Collection

Herolal is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway, when he spots Bhola standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Bhola is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Herolal gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Bhola and asks him, “Excuse me, what are you doing?”

Bhola replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
“How?” asks Herolal, puzzled.
“Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”

Boy Friend is like a chocolate, “Taste good always.” Girl Friend is like Pizza, Hot n Spicy, “Delicious anytime.” Wife is like the refrigerated left overs, “Eaten when no choice.” Husband is like a cooled off Tea in a cup, “Headache on sip.

This man and this woman share a bunk bed with their son. The man and woman sleep on the top and the kid sleeps on the bottom. One night when the kid is asleep, the parents climb to their bed. The man says to the woman, “Say ham when you want it harder, say cheese when you want it softer.”

All through the night the kid hears, “HAM, HAM, HAM, cheese, HAM, HAM, HAM, cheese!”

When the kid wakes up the next morning, he tells his mother, “Mommy, you got to stop making those ham and cheese sandwiches at night cause I end up getting mayonnaise all over me!”

This guy has four daughters who all live at home. One Friday night the doorbell rings. The guy answers it and a kid standing there says, “Hi, I’m Freddy. I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re gonna go eat spaghetti. Is she ready?”

The man, mildly amused calls down his daughter and the two leave.

A few minutes later the doorbell rings again and he answers. A kid standing there says, “Hi, I’m Jim. I’m here to see Kim. We’re gonna go for a swim. Can I come in?”

The guy, now perplexed, says, “Yes,” and the two take off.

A few minutes later the doorbell rings and again the father answers. A kid standing there says, “Hi, I’m Joe. I’m here to pick up Flo. We’re gonna go to the show. Can she go?”

The man, now kind of annoyed, says, “Yes.” The two depart.

Sure enough, a few minutes later the door rings and the father answers. A kid standing there says, “Hi, I’m Chuck..”

The father shot him.