Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said ‘You don’t have time to change shoes. You can’t outrun that bear!’
The first man said, ‘I know I can’t outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you!
Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. “Let’s play schools”.
“Okay!” said Jinny. “But I’m going to be absent.”
A nosey neighbour remonstrated with the woman in the adjoining apartment. “Mrs Smith, do you think it is right that a seventeen year old boy spendsthree hours every night in your apartment? “Mrs Smith replied. “Its a platonic friendship. Its play for him and atonic for me. “
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1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper.
2. In the memo field of all your checks write “for sensual massage.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
5. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
6. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophecy.”
7. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
8. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
9. Ask people what gender they are.
10. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Herolal is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway, when he spots Bhola standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Bhola is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Herolal gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Bhola and asks him, “Excuse me, what are you doing?”
Bhola replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
“How?” asks Herolal, puzzled.
“Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”
“What shall we play today?” said Florence to her best friend Jenny. “Let’s play schools,” said Jenny.
“OK!” said Florence. “But I’m going to be absent