Latest / New Jokes About Collection

Sweet Miss u

Some things are left undone, some words are left unsaid, some feelings are left unexpressed, but someone as sweet as you could never be left unmissed.

In my life

I learned how 2 love, 2 smile, 2 B happy, 2 B strong,
2 work hard, 2 B honest, 2 B faithful, 2 forgive. But I couldn’t learn how 2 forget U…

I Miss You ….

Am simple BYE make us cry, A simple JOKE make us laugh, simple CARE make us fall in love. I hope my simple SMS make you think of me. I miss you.

Missing with my All

God gave u 2 legs to walk, 2 hands to hold, 2 ears to hear, 2 eyes to see. But why did he give u only 1 Heart?
Probably bcoz he wants u to look for the other.

Missing You

I am in casualty now, don’t say I didn’t tell you. After 5 minutes, I will be transfered to ICU. Doctor told, I will die if I don’t STOP.. Missing You

Miss a Lot

My eyes are hurting coz I can’t see u, my arms r empty coz I can’t hold u, my lips are cold coz I can’t kiss u & my heart is breaking coz I’m not with u.

Miss you

I always knew that looking back on my tears would someday make me laugh, but I never knew that looking back on my laughter would someday make me cry. Miss you

I Miss U

There’s no Special reason for this msg, I just wanna steal a single moment out of ur busy life & hope I can make u smile n say:

I Miss U.

lovely wife

M: My lovely wife.
I: Is i am wrong in my sms?
S: Sex is not only thing in the life.
S: See, we have everything in our life you, me & our kids & good salaries and home also.

Miss You.. . . .

Y: You are everyting to me, my life my wife my jaan.
O: Our life is just a good enough for us. Alhumdullah.
U: U are the lucky one in my world… gave me our sweet family.
A word to say, a word to hear
Even in Ur absence I feel U near
Our relation is strong..hope it goes long
we will remain the same till the life goes on!

Nobody is right till somebody is wrong…
Nobody is weak till somebody is strong…
Nobody is lucky till love comes along…
Nobody is lonely till somebody is gone.
Missing U!

Try this ,
go to write msg,
ACTIVATE Dictionary [ T9 ],
then hide your screen with 1 hand
& Type 4164771968,
now remove ur hand & read it…..
then SMS me.

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office.

“Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck.”

“Oh, he didn’t kill himself,” Mr. Haroldson replied. “I hung him up to dry.”

• ~ Maternity leave would last for two years….with full pay.
• ~There would be a cure for stretch marks.
  pregnant belly
• ~Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
• ~Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.
• ~All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
• ~Children would be kept in the hospital until potty trained.
• ~Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
• ~They wouldn’t think twins were so cute.
• ~Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.
• ~Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
• ~They’d stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.
• ~Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.
• ~Women would rule the world.

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”

The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”

As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Aaron!
Aaron who!
Aaron on the side of caution!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abbott!
Abbott who?
Abbott time you answered the door!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abe!
Abe who?
Abe C D E F G H…!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Abyssinia!
Abyssinia who?
Abyssinia behind bars one of these days!

2 Lovers plan to suicide.
Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? Y

Throughout the centuries, mothers have been given their children plenty of good advice and notable quotes. Here’s just a small sampling:

PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: “I don’t mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?”

MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”

HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: “Humpty, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!”

COLUMBUS’ MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!”

BABE RUTH’S MOTHER: “Babe, how many times have I told you — quit playing ball in the house! That’s the third broken window this week!”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!”

CUSTER’S MOTHER: “Now, George, remember what I told you — don’t go biting off more than you can chew!”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

BARNEY’S MOTHER: “I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you’re starting to look a little purple.”

MARY’S MOTHER: “I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”

BATMAN’S MOTHER: “It’s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?”

GOLDILOCKS’ MOTHER: “I’ve got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?”

LITTLE MISS MUFFET’S MOTHER: “Well, all I’ve got to say is if you don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be a lot more spiders around here!”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”

JONAH’S MOTHER: “That’s a nice story, but now tell me where you’ve really been for the last three days.”

SUPERMAN’S MOTHER: “Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we’ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?”

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!”

Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. “Doctor, you must help me,” she pleaded. “It’s gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week.”

“I see,” nodded the psychiatrist. “And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter.”

“NO!!!” exclaimed the nurse. “I want you to fix it so I won’t feel guilty and depressed afterward!”