New Year Jokes and Funny Stories
Classic New Year Poem New Year Jokes
Ring out the old, ring in the new
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson. (1849 –> 50)
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New Year’s Eve Party – Phantom Guest?
Trevor’s New Year’s Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. ‘You know,’ he confided to Trevor, ‘I wasn’t even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests’ cars are blocking my drive.’ He continued, ‘My wife’s been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved, so that we can go out.’
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New Year’s Day Party – That Never Was?
As in many homes on New Year’s Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself.
Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television.
Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was and graciously even bought a cold beer for Nigel. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Nigel told her it was half time and that the score was still 0-0.
‘See?’ Janet said happily, ‘You didn’t miss a thing.’
