Latest / New Pregnancy Jokes Collection

Q. What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman
and a model?

A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him.

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions.
She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?”
The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it’s difficult to describe pain.”
“I know, but can’t you give me some idea?” she asks.
“Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little…”
“Like this?”
“A little more…”
“Like this?”
“No. A little more…”
“Like this?”
“Yes. Does that hurt?”
“A little bit.”
“Now stretch it over your head!”

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A. Childbirth.